The Most Driven Past Country Hotel in Australia - The Tumblong Tavern

 

Katya ("Just call me Kat") at the Post Office Hotel, Maude

Kat was born and grew up in a small village between Frankfurt and Hanover in Germany and after becoming a fully qualified chef, decided to check out the world.

In 2005 she ended up in Hay, NSW and not long after coupled up with Wayne, a local and decided that since she couldn't take him home with her, they’d try living in the bush.

In 2012 she sent Wayne on an expedition to find a place that “was made out of brick, with a big garden, close to the river and with a good wood heater.”

He came back a few days later saying he’d found a place that ticked all the boxes and though Kat hadn’t been thinking “pub”, they both came back to Maude to check out Wayne’s find and thought, yep, let’s give it a go.

After a year leasing, finding their feet and enjoying the experience, in 2013  they made an offer which was accepted and they were the happy owners of the Post Office Hotel.

About the first thing they did was turf the gambling machines.

“We don't need pokies here,” says Kat as we sit in the bar on a midweek midday, “ We’re not here for people to feed their bad habits and their weaknesses – we always wanted our pub to be for families and for people to talk with each other.”

The next thing was to upgrade the menu which now features stuff like homemade lasagne and slow cooked pork belly. Kat’s signature dish is sirloin stuffed with bacon, cheese and fresh herbs, served with prawns and garlic sauce.

And if she’s been feeling homesick, there’ll be homemade bratwurst sausages and mash.

Also very early on they replaced all the beer lines and made damn sure they stayed clean and clear. “I’m German and I know how important good draught beer is. It doesn't matter how friendly we are or how good the food is or how soft the bed is, if the draught beer isn’t perfect, people won’t come back!”

(The pub’s bumper sticker simply says: “Best Piss on the Bidgee”)

Then they focussed on improving the accommodation. There’re now 8 rooms attached to the pub and a donga with a further 8 rooms all with twin beds plus  what Wayne describes later as a ‘honeymoon suite’ with a queen double and a single. Just why a honeymoon suite would have two beds and sleeping for three is something I didn't go into.

Rates are $50 per person per night with the suite going for $80.00.

If you want to throw your swag or tent out the back it’ll only be 10 bucks including use of the toilets and showers. Water here is drawn from the Murrumbidgee into a settling tank and comes out of the shower head without any odour.

Drinking water is from rain tanks so don't go leaving the taps on!

 As the arvo slides on, other groups of fishers wander in. It’s been raining and the preferred spot of one trio, at Yanga up the road, has been closed by Nat Parks and they’re not going anywhere.

They’re none too happy, reckoning their 4WD’s would get through easily but Mick, one of ‘em turns me : “If you’re goin’ to get stranded, this is the pub to stuck in!”

They all settle in. Yarns are told, stories swapped, lies are laughed at.

The sign at the edge of town boasts a population of 60 but Kat reckons that’s out by a country mile:  “Maybe if you counted everyone’s poddies, dogs and probably cats there might by 60 in the town but if you’re talking humans, it’s closer to 30.”

There’s not a person in the bar who’s here for the first time. One pair has been coming here since last century, most for over 5 years.  And that’s what this pub’s about. In a town of under three dozen people, once you discount those under 18 and over 70, the reservoir of possible local clients is just touching double figures – not near enough to sustain the hotel.

So it’s tourists, travellers and especially regular returners who keep this pub, originally built in 1868, alive.

In May and June the place is buzzing with the cotton harvest and the pub’s routine moves to suit the workers

With the last shift finishing around 9.30 (depending on dewpoint), the kitchen serves dinners until almost 11.00pm so no-one goes hungry.  “Because that,” says the hostess,” is what hospitality is.”

The bar floor is dominated by a quality pool table framed by very decent collection of caps. Wanna add yours? No problem, just chuck 5 bucks into the CanAssist Charity can and find a place to pin it! Another wall features a couple of dozen framed shots of the town and the pub over the last 100 years. A couple of the photos are even hanging straight!

As the skies get darker Wayne arrives back from his ‘drug run’ to Swan Hill. Country pubs like this don't have liquor wholesalers. The breweries don't send to the bush and Dan Murphys has put a cap on sales to pubs. So they buy their stuff at the cut price outlets in the ‘nearby’ larger towns. For Wayne and Kat that can mean chasing specials as far as Mildura. Same with fags.  And yet they still get the moaners whining their drinks 50 cents dearer than in the smoke.

Wayne’s also collected a new English backpacker who’ll help out over the summer when the place can get frantic and right now she’s probably wondering just what she’s signed up for!

But she needn’t worry – I can tell her! She’s arrived at a flyspeck village where she can go swimming in the river after work and where locks on things are pretty much redundant. She’s going to be working for a couple who are nurturing an old pub and whose commitment to their calling, their clients and their community, have ensured their pub is a place that no-one doesn't go back to.