Nothing but the Pub

  I always thought rules come in three main categories: Legal rules, agreed rules and - in Oz and Kiwi since around 1910 - Rafferty’s Rules. But, ah, out in Western Queensland they invented a whole new category.  Muttaburra Rules.  I park Super Ten out front of the Muttaburra Pub where someone’s added an ‘S’ in front of its displayed name turning it into the SExchange Hotel and head in past a few old fellas on the small veranda and grab a black fish.   Behind me, high up on one wall of the bar – so high it can’t be used anymore - there’s what I grew up calling a ‘hookey’ board. A round board about 18 inches across with 12 or 13 hooks on it, each with a number from 1 to 13 underneath. Stand back like you do at darts and throw rubber ring seals from mum’s preserving jars at the hooks.   Below this board, pinned to the wall in a plastic sleeve there’s some doggerel verse written on a sheet of paper. I don’t see them when I first walk in but then, first cold frothie in hand, I do a lap